So… life as usual… masih dengan routine harian… hehehe… well this morning went to the MOE with Arni… sudah seminggu terperap di rumah.. akhirnya kami keluar juga…. Dengan bacaan yang betul dan niat yang baik… everything went well… Alhamdullilah…. so just waiting for any answers, feedback and conclusion… hehehe…. Then sukat Brunei… yeah… we went for window shopping and Arni beli kain… and aku?… takde pulak nak membeli belah… sebab tak ada yang memikat hati… so after all the window shopping…aku hantar Arni balik and i went home… sampai rumah my nephew tanya aku dari mana…. he thought I went back UK…and he said he was worried… hehehe… dia terlalu banyak mendengar berita mengenai cuaca in UK..so i told him i wont be going there this time but will be going there in the near future.. InsyaAllah….
What else… ohh two days ago… he called… we talk for hours… macam cerita tak mau nak habis…. keep on talking about his work, life and all sort of stuff. After a few hours… i told him that itys getting late and he need his rest… since he will be teaching and stuff… kesian juga if tak cukup rehat and sleep… Then today i called him…. we spend hours on the phone too…. i cant remember what we talk about but it was full of laughter and a fun conversation….ada jugak kisah2 loyar buruk dia…. then after a few hours… somehow i ask him a question…. tiba2 dia diam… i felt weird…. napa dia diam? Apa salahkah soalan aku tue?.. AKu tak rasa salah pun… but then aku tak reti pulak nak memahami apa maksud diamnya itu… ~lelaki~~… then he ask me what im doing tomorrow… i said im doing nothing… then dia diam… somehow i got the sign that it was time to hangup.. so i told him u better rest.. tommorrow is his buzy day… morning teaching, menghadiri bengkel petang, and malam mengajar kelas malam…. so we said our goodbyes and hang up…. and now i feel weird and somehing is a miss… he is making me confuse with this… so confused and suddenly my heart bruised….. tried to think positive cause I believe in my feeling…. but then kalau aku sorang aja yang believe… worth it kah itu?……I dont know… kami belum ada pertemuan lagi… he is buzy and i know that… time2 macam ni dengan perubahan sistem pendidikan… he will be occupied with his work.. so aku tak pulak memaksa… coz somehow i understand him… or mungkin aku memahami mereka yg workaholic since i used to be a workaholic myself… hehehe… so bila kami kan jumpa?… maybe tunggu cuti sekolah kot… which is in March… hmmm… well its next month… tak lama lah tue.. unless masih busy jugak… so tak tau lah bila……
So here’s the soundtrack of mylife at this moment…
Usahku menepis rasa rindu yang mendera jiwa
Kau buat aku tersiksa
Bayangan trus menghampiri, kemanapun kucoba pergi
Dimana harus sembunyi
Lemahku lemah tak berdaya
Salahkah bila ku tak henti mengharapkannya
Meskipun akhirnya ku tahu dia hanya membuatku terluka
Bayangan trus menghampiri, kemanapun kucoba pergi
Adakah dia peduli
Lemahku lemah tak berdaya
Salahkah bila ku tak henti mengharapkannya
Meskipun akhirnya ku tahu dia hanya membuatku terluka
hehehehe….. kalau tak ada lagu tak sah…. or maybe my all time soundtrack of my life ‘ALL OR NOTHING’ is still the one that exactly describe my love life… i wont post the lyric here since i did post it before…. aiyahh… hmm… teringin pulak nak buat poem…
Your messages in hand,
I glance to my right,
I glance to my left,
This door is open wide,
I’m waiting for what our future brings,
I look out,
I look up,
The sky is grey early in the mornings,
Just like always,
I think back,
I think of the past,
Remembering what you swore,
But you affirm no more,
I imagine the love in your eyes,
I imagine the softness in your voice,
You promised forever & for always,
That you’d love me til the end of days,
I believed your every uttterence,
I believed your every word,
But where are you now?
I Guess time will decide…..
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